She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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