windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
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I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
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I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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