i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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