Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
