I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
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I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
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First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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