you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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