This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
