you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
