Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Randomize
