i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
