i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
you never un-have a 4some
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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