Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
