I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
