after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
