i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize