I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
