is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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