We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
