Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
