i may or may not be watching the land before time
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
