so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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