I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
