Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
