My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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