there were more penises there than on chat roulette
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
