no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
