Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
