Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
