they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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