I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
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Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
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I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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