Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
