No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
