I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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