well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
