got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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