just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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