how can u be prego again
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
