I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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