Taylor Swift is so right about you.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
