Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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