It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
