shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
