I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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