oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
She's JV to your varsity
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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