I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
