So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
