I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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