So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize
