she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
