I wish i was in the wii world.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
