Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
