she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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