You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just puked most of my soul out..
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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