I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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