There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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