Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
