Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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