I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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