My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
time to smoke my breakfast
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
